“Frasier” was one of the most popular sitcoms of all time. Snobby psychiatrist Frasier Crane and his equally-snobby psychiatrist brother Niles continually found themselves in ridiculous situations of their own making. On several occasions, one (or both) of them would have a need for a good lawyer. One long story arc, for example, involved Niles and his divorce from the never-seen Maris, who employed a battery of attorneys to harass Niles and drive him to the brink of bankruptcy. Niles naively stuck with his original law firm, a silk-stocking upper-crust organization, until he was at the end of his rope. He simply could not wrap his head around changing his snooty habits, even if it meant ruination.
Ultimately, though, Niles stepped out of his cocoon and sought advice from, of all things, a small operation headed by a man who never would have been invited to one of the Cranes’ social events. He enlisted the help of . . . an experienced divorce expert. In short order, the scrappy divorce specialist shut down Maris’s attack dogs and obtained the divorce, and Niles resumed his blue-blood lifestyle, perhaps a little wiser.
Sure, “Frasier” was a creation of Hollywood, and it’s not always a good idea to pattern your life after the actions of a creature of celluloid. But sometimes the hard truths come shining through and we can all glean a bit of wisdom, even from farces like “Frasier” and the common sense it occasionally beamed into our living rooms.
In its “Guide to Getting a Divorce Lawyer”, CNN explains that hiring an attorney experienced in domestic matters is critical to avoid disaster. For example, a divorce attorney who truly knows the lay of the land can be expected to know the tendencies of all of the judges in the area. Laws related to divorce, property settlement, custody and support vary widely from place to place, and it goes without saying that a judge’s personal views on these vagaries and the way they could be applied to tilt an outcome can matter a great deal. An experienced divorce attorney will know these leanings, and will know how to present the issues to the client’s advantage. Any attorney can look up statutes, fill out forms, and meet court-imposed deadlines. Only an attorney who is actually familiar with the process and the subject-matter can make the decisions necessary to achieve the best result.
We talked with Phillip Bahakel & Associates who added, “divorce is perhaps the most emotionally-taxing situation a person can face. Commonly, each side will stake out its own positions and stand firm regardless of how unreasonable that position might appear to outsiders. This impulse is extraordinarily common, especially if the divorce is the result of a sudden shock such as discovery of infidelity, or a gambling issue or other problem that is hidden under the surface.” The discovering party can be adrift and in a state of emotional shock. While understandable, being in such a condition hardly lends itself to good decision-making and a necessary willingness to compromise. And in this age of no-fault divorce and the usual unwillingness of judges to allow their courtrooms to be turned into a reality television program, a refusal to bend can drag the process out, making it even more emotionally difficult than ever, and it can drive the cost of divorce through the roof. Forbes published an excellent article entitled “Financial Strategies for Divorcing A Narcissist” that describes an all-too-common situation, and, despite the article’s focus on male sufferers of a particular mental illness, the issues set out in that article often apply to a “typical” divorce involving normal human beings.
Divorce can bring out the worst in people, and an experienced divorce attorney has almost certainly seen it before. In such trying times, having someone on your team who has been through the fire can make all the difference.
Niles Crane can attest to that.
