If you’re like most people over the age of 20, you probably think you have a pretty good handle on the dating thing and how to go about it. The question is, how is that working out for you? Are you fulfilled, satisfied and happy with the quality of people you are meeting? Do you feel confident in your ability – when the time is right – to find a suitable mate to spend the rest of your life with?
Thanks to the efficiency of online dating, there has never been an easier time to find a large pool of potential dates and even future mates. But just because the options have increased, doesn’t translate into more dating satisfaction. In fact, the overwhelming number of potential partners may actually serve to decrease our overall satisfaction with the dates and potential mates we are finding, rather than increasing it. If you are one of the millions of single Americans finding frustration in your dating life, it’s possible that the solution might be a dating coach.
Here are 3 ways a dating coach can help you create a successful and prosperous relationship.
1. They can help you figure out what you want.
In high school, parents often encourage their children to date a lot of different people so they can figure out what they are and are not looking for in a future mate. That’s good advice – in high school. If you’re still wandering aimlessly in college and beyond with no clue what it is you’re actually looking for, that’s a problem. In addition, Scientists working with Match.com found that the kind of partner people said they wanted often didn’t match up with what they were actually interested in.
In some cases, people have this romanticized notion that one day “The One” will just magically appear, bathed in light while angels start singing and a flock of doves inexplicably bursts into flight.
In other cases, people have such a long, detailed exhaustive lists of qualities they are looking for, that no mere mortal will ever be capable of achieving their expectations. To make matters worse, many times their wishes are contradictory: like “I want a successful woman capable of taking care of herself financially, that can also drop everything at a moment’s notice and be there for me.” Or “I want a man who will respect me as a confident capable woman, but not expect me go out and get a job.”
A dating coach can help you figure out a good solid outline for what it is you are looking for that is realistic enough to allow for a number of real live human beings to actually meet your expectations.
2. They can help you break ingrained habits and patterns.
If you come from a background of abuse, the odds are high that you will “naturally gravitate” towards an abusive relationship, because it is what you have been conditioned to look for.
Even when you don’t come from a background of outright abuse, your parent’s relationship “conditioned” you to act in certain ways that are sometimes unhealthy. If you watched one of your parents essentially throw a temper tantrum when they didn’t get what they want, you will often either do the same thing or be subconsciously drawn to someone who does. A dating coach can help you spot some of these unhealthy methods of behaving and help you engage in better, healthier relational behaviors. The irony is that you will most likely be frustrated by the person who engages in these behaviors, when in reality you are the one that keeps subconsciously seeking them out.
If you come from a severely abusive background, you will most likely need a therapist more than a dating coach, but a good dating coach can help you avoid the pitfalls you tell them ahead of time (with the help of a therapist) that you want to avoid.
3. They can help you be a better communicator.
Communication is key in almost any relationship, and dating is no different. According to Confidence Builder LLC, dating coaches can help you develop strategies for opening clear, honest lines of communication right from the second you meet someone. This builds a good foundation for later on down the road when difficult conversations need to be had – either to part ways or to move deeper into the relationship. Both conversations can be scary but a good dating coach can help make them as painless as possible.