If you know or suspect that a friend or loved one has a problem with substance abuse, you may not know exactly what to do. You want to help, but how? Here are some tips to help point you in the right direction.
Educate yourself
If you know nothing about drug abuse, you may not even be sure that it’s the problem. Know one thing about addictions: anyone addicted to a drug has lost, or will soon lose, control over their own lives. An addicted brain is a powerful thing. You are up against something much bigger than you. You can and should still attempt to help, but gather your information first. An addicted person will typically display the following signs:
- They are always broke and may ask for loans that are never repaid
- They drive while under the influence of drugs
- They have been arrested as a result of drug use
- Items of value may be missing
- They have lost a job or dropped out of school
- They are alienated from their family
- They may look slovenly and show little interest in grooming
- You may notice dilated or pinned pupils, slurred speech and track marks
Understand that certain drugs, especially opioids, cause physical dependence and withdrawal symptoms if suddenly stopped. Do as much research as you can about drug abuse. Make sure you look up various drug treatment facilities in your area. Make a list of them and bring them with you when you meet with your friend.
The Setting
Wait for a quiet, private time to talk to your friend. You will need to get them while they aren’t drunk or high. They need to be as clear-minded as possible. Make sure there are minimal distractions.
Talk about how you feel
It’s not about you, but you still need to let your friend know what you have observed. Talk about how their drug use has affected the friendship. Point out that they are risking arrest, death and loss of their children if they continue to use. If they haven’t yet been arrested, discuss how an arrest will eliminate just about any future chance for a good career that they may have. Stick to the facts and try not to become too emotional.
Recognize your responsibility
Once you decide to become involved, you have also decided to support your friend as they struggle to recover. Show them the list of drug treatment centers that you found in your research. Encourage them to seek help at one of them, but don’t push too much. It’s not your decision. To be truly effective, drug treatment must be totally voluntary. Only the drug abuser can make the decision to stop. Treatment can and does help, but not when it’s forced or coerced.
Interventions
If your personal efforts fail, you can try to stage an intervention. However, know that an intervention, especially if it’s not done properly, can easily fail and can do more harm than good. This is because addicts often feel cornered during interventions. They feel like no one understands their side. Because they’re deep into their addiction and not thinking clearly, they either don’t see the harm their drug is doing, or else they think the drug is worth the risk. Don’t expect rational thought from a drug-addicted person.
If you’d like to try an intervention, get a professional person to help. This could be a therapist or member of the clergy.
They will be able to advise you as to the best way to get your friend into treatment before it’s too late. Just remember that threats and ultimatums won’t work in the long run. Make sure your friend understands that you are there for them no matter what.
